


It leads to you

by ohfuckhim



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Mostly Fluff, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Past Child Abuse, cmon its zuko
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:27:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25935160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohfuckhim/pseuds/ohfuckhim
Summary: She needs to find both of them. Zuko and Azula. She promised that she wont stop looking, she wont stop walking until she found them.
Relationships: Azula & Ursa & Zuko (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Ursa & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 74





	1. The beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this is my first fic, grammar is not my strongest point so i apologize for thatt... i've read "the search" comic,,,, and i thought fuck that shit this is how i want it to be

“Have you heard of the crown prince?”

Ursa head whipped towards the voice. Her hand shakes as she carries her fruit basket.

“The little boy? How old is he twelve?”

Three days ago, Ursa went to the nearest lake. Eating her son favorite food, fire flake, while throwing crumbs of bread towards the turtle duck. “Happy thirteenth birthday my beautiful boy.”

Tears slipped from her eyes. Not a day goes by without thinking of her children.

Not a day goes by without thinking how horrible of a mother she is.

“Nah, I don't know he seems young though. He’s banished!”

Ursa hearts shattered. Without her controls, she walks closer towards the two men. My beautiful boy, where is he?

“Banished? Really? Like cant step into fire nation at all?”

“Not just fire nation but all fire nation territory in earth kingdom too you know.”

“Why though?”

“Eh don't know, he’s a spoiled brat anyway.”

“The crown prince is not a spoiled brat.”Her mouth moves. “My so- My prince is an honorable young man.”

They look at Ursa like she grows another head. “Ex prince actually, not just banished but also stripped from his honor.”

Ursa took a step back. Ozai really is showing his true color. Her mind races, the scream is louder in her head. 

I need to find my son.

So she walks away. She walks away and keeps walking until her feet aches. She walks and she asked to everyone “Have you seen a fire nation ship?”

They said the ship went this way. They said the ship went that way. And Ursa, she just wants to meet her son. Her lovely beautiful son. She wants nothing but hug him and protect him from everything in this world. Something that she failed to do before. So Ursa keeps walking, she never gives up even when people pitied her.

“The ship left two days ago.”

“The ship just left an hour ago.”

They said it with such a sorrow voice. They would held her hands when she cried “Please, I need to find my son.”. They smiled sadly, “You’re a wonderful mother.”

Ursa went into another walk. She’s in fire nation territory so she lift her hood up. Even though all the spot lights are always on Ozai. There will always be a risk of people recognizing the former Fire Lady.

She heard stories, how the prince came back to the Caldera cause he killed the avatar. Then she heard the story that the prince is dead. Fire Lord Ozai himself struck a lightning towards his son heart for committing a treason. Ursa heart broke and she looks pained. The old lady then whispered hastily, “I also heard another rumor that the prince make it out alive, and join the avatar.”

(Later she finds out that the latter is true. She saw the wanted poster of her own son. Beautiful Zuko. “Dead or Alive.” it reads. Ursa’s hand trembles when she reached for the poster. She slowly scraped it off the wall. Tracing her son picture as she tried to picture his face. And she cried when she saw it.

People always talk about it.

“Oh you mean the scarred prince?”The guy once said as he covered his left eye with one hand.

She saw the true evidence right in front of her eyes. She saw her failure of protecting her children. It costed them an eye.)

“What about Princess Azula?”she’d asked. “The almighty Princess Azula, blessed by Agni herself with blue fire, has single handedly took Ba Sing Se down in mere of a week!”

Her daughter has learned to hate even more when she’s away. Even use her hate to conquer a powerful city that not even The Dragon of The West can conquer in 600 days. Ursa curses herself, she failed her daughter. She needs to find both of them. Zuko and Azula, she promised that she wont stop looking, she wont stop walking until she found them.

Someone keeps staring at Ursa. She can feel their stare at the back of her head. So she walks faster, when she turns back the man stared back at him. Ursa stared back, fiercely, showing no fear even though her heart hammered loudly.

The man took strides toward her until they were close. “I'm sorry,” the man said. “I'm sorry that was rude to stare at you like that.”

Ursa didn't answer, she just stared back unflinchingly.

“It’s just... you look so much like The Fire Lord.”

Ursa hearts skips a beat. She heard hushed tone about the Avatar and the Fire Lord last fight. But no one dares to say the end of the fight. Is Fire Lord Ozai is dead? No one ever said that. They just stated that the new fire lord will be coronated today.

No one mentioned the Fire Lord name cause no body knows about Azula and Zuko’ Agni Kai. Nobody knows that Azula was spiralling badly. Her sanity is the cost of the constant put up with Ozai’s relentless abuse.

Ursa took a deep breathe.

“Fire Lord Azula?”she asked. Everything in her body wants her to run to Caldera. Swoop in and hug her children. Sometimes she thinks maybe she cant save both of them. Maybe fate never want Ursa to meet Zuko even after searching him for years. Maybe fate wants her to be back to Caldera, save Azula first, then Zuko.

(After listening to a lot of Azula’s story, Ursa realizes that Ozai’s poison is running too deep in her veins. Ursa thinks that Azula would happily burn her down if she stepped to Caldera. Ursa’s mind went crazy at that, remind her of how a failure of a mother she is. What kind of mother have a fear that her daughter would burn her?)

“No... Well yes too, I guess, they are related after all.“

Ursa eyes widen in shock. Before the man continued, Ursa hurriedly run. She runs as tears went freely. His baby boy, his beautiful beautiful boy. The Fire Lord Zuko.

Adrenaline pumping through her veins. The moment she stepped in Caldera, the sun is already down. The moon is hanging beautifully. There’s a festival on the streets. Colors, lots of colors, she saw two men holding hand while wearing green tunic. She saw a kid running around wearing a blue parka.

Her eye stings. This is the start of a beautiful new era. She walks as music blast, this feels eerily familiar. (She remembers walking down this street, when the night is dark, and there’s no life around. As she cried, after bringing poison to end Azulon’s life and her own heart.)

The palace gates are so close. She took a deep breathe. If Zuko, somehow, hates her and wants nothing to do with her. She’d understand. She’d understand cause she knows its her fault.

She saw the fire lord robe’s back view. She sprinted faster.

The guard was going to close the gates when Ursa shouted, “Please wait!”

The Fire Lord, Zuko, his son, his beautiful son, whipped his head back. Wide eyes stared at Ursa.

And Ursa falls, Ursa falls to her knees even when they are still so far away. The guards looked back between The Fire Lord and the woman who crumpled.

Ursa sobs with her hands on her face. Finally after all this years, only seeing him in crumpled wasted poster. Cradling the picture dearly close to her heart every night. Praying for his safety, Azula’s safety, to Agni every night. Ursa finally can see her beautiful boy.

Zuko ran towards her. “Open the gates!”He screamed while running. The guards hastily opened it back.

And Zuko crouched down, face so up close right in front of Ursa. And Ursa cant stop herself. She put her hands to cup his face. She tenderly brushes her fingers on both of his cheeks. The left side felt rough under her fingers and she wants nothing except apologize for everything, for leaving him to put up with all the pain alone.

Zuko’s body is tensing. He stilled himself when the woman cups his face while still crying.

“Im so so sorry, for everything.”She said while her eyes is fixed towards his left eyes.

“I-“

“Do you remember me, my love?”

And Zuko smiled. Tears falling from his eye because of course he remembers. Of course he does, every night before going to sleep, he tries to remember every detail of his mother’ face. Sometimes he hates himself even more when he realized he cant remember her clearly.

“Of course I do, mother.”

Hearing the word ‘mother’ from his son’s mouth was another pull for Ursa to cried harder. Ursa pulls Zuko in a hug. She can feel Zuko tensing and stiff in her arms while Ursa puts her heads on his shoulder. Stroking his back and hair, while whispering, “My son, my lovely son, I finally found you. My love. I love you Zuko.”

Eventually Zuko hugs back. He cried, he cried hard on his mother. He wailed while hugging his mother in the middle of a night. Sobs racked through his whole body. Tears stained Ursa’ clothes, but Ursa just held on tighter.

“My son, my love, I love you my dear.”

“Where have you been, Mother?”he rasps sadly. While still holding her with strong grips. As if he’s scared that if he didn't hold strong enough, she’ll slip away again.

“For you my beautiful boy, I’ll tell you everything. Everything. I love you Zuko.”


	2. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’ve always been smart and brave.”
> 
> Zuko heart’ leaps and he blurts excitedly, “I also met dragons!”
> 
> Ursa grins. Even with fire lord crown heavy on his head, she remembers that he’s still sixteen after all. (And also dragons? Wow his son journey is definitely so much better than her.)
> 
> “Now you tell me about everything Zuko.”

And so Ursa tells everything.

She told him about her marriage with Ozai, the Azulon’ incident, and her journey.

“I was always looking for you, and I was always too late. But I kept searching, after I’ve heard about your banishment. I realized, what a brave young man you are.”

“You heard about that?”

“I heard a lot about you, my love.”Ursa smiled to her son. And her son grimaces, “Uh, yeah?”Zuko remembers his reputation, not exactly clean, he hopes she doesn’t heard about him stealing at Ba Sing Se. Or when he stole Song’ ostrich-horse even though she shows him nothing but kindness. Or when he saw Azula struck a full lightning towards the Avatar and do nothing.

Ursa noticed his discomfort, softly stroking his hands while looking away.  
“I heard you went to Air Temples, with only a small Wani and a rope.” Ursa murmurs.

“Yes Mother, I did that.”

“You’ve always been smart and brave.”

Zuko heart’ leaps and he blurts excitedly, “I also met dragons!”

Ursa grins. Even with fire lord crown heavy on his head, she remembers that he’s still sixteen after all. (And also dragons? Wow his son journey is definitely so much better than her.)

“Now you tell me about everything Zuko.”

And so Zuko tells everything.

“I saw the light, mom. Its so bright and piercing blue. I’ve been searching this fairy tale for 3 years! And its right there, in front of my eyes. The Avatar is alive.”

“Mother, I think you blessed me with your patience. I was working as a tea shop waiter for some time at Ba Sing Se.”

“And I went to The Boiling Rock, mother! I helped to free Sokka’s dad AND his girlfriend at the same time. His girlfriend is the head of Kyoshi warrior! So she can runs and jumps and AND oh! My girlfriend, Mai, you knew her right? No, thats Ty Lee mother, Mai doesnt have a braid. Anyway, she saved me! Girls really are crazy.”

Ursa giggled at that. She doesnt miss the way her son’ eyes light up when he said Sokka’s, Kyoshi warrior and Mai’ name. So she filed it at the back of her head under “Person she should thank to.” So far the list contained Iroh, The Avatar, the water tribe siblings, Toph, Mai, The Kyoshi warrior, Jin and Song from Ba Sing Se.

Never once Ursa interrupted him. She just smiled, strokes his hand, while occasionally murmurs an answer.

Even though there is a burning question. Right at the tip of her tongue. Where is your sister? She wanted to ask. But right now is not the time, she wants to listen to his son’ adventure and watches his eyes light up.

Also even though that her son seems to always talks about Iroh most of the time. 

“Uncle Iroh was the one who changed my bandage, mother. It hurts a lot, worst of it is I cant even cry about it. When I cried, it stings even worse, and it just makes me cried harder. Uncle Iroh just hugged me. He’s amazing, mother.”

Silence passed uncomfortably. Ursa wants to hug Zuko harder than ever but Zuko opens his mouth,

“Sokka told me that his ex girlfriend turned in to the moon, Mother. My brain just, completely shut down at that! What would you say to that? So I just said, “Thats rough, buddy.” Mother, its embarassing how socially uncapable I am.”

At the end, Ursa can see that Zuko is tired. And in pain. Zuko stifled a yawn in the middle of another Ba Sing Se’ customer story. And even though he speaks with such a happy voice, she doesnt miss the way he sometimes winces, clutches his chest subtly, or took a deep breathe out of nowhere.

So Ursa smiled and said, “Zuko, I love to listen to your stories, but you need to rest, love.”

As in cue, one of the water tribe siblings, Katara, shows up, “Im really sorry to interrupt you two but I really need to do a healing session with Zuko.”

Zuko was going to complain but the two women already positioned them beside Zuko and pulled his hands over their necks.

“I can walk Mother, Katara come on let go of me.”

“Always so dramatic, my love.”

Zuko’ cheek blushed at that and so he lets the women lead him away. He missed his mother’ touch anyway.

Katara smiles, nearly, nearly crying in the sight of her bestfriend, blushing, leaning towards his mother while grinning.

The healing session was different. Usually Zuko always put up a fuss, refusing any help. Today, Zuko calmly lays on the bed, closed his eyes, while Ursa holds his hand. When Katara opens his bandage, Ursa can see the angry red scars. Ursa tears her look away and her mind goes crazy.

She really let Ozai hurts his son. Two scars, two angry looking matching scars. And so Ursa squeezed Zuko hands. Katara hands’ is glowing and she started to rub his chest.

“Im sorry my love.”Ursa murmurs sadly.

“Not your fault, mother. Never your fault.”Zuko answered while opening his eyes. His eyes looks so earnest and young. Ursa looks away again, one hand still clutching her son’ hand, the other wiped her tears.

“I let Ozai hurts you. I should have done something. I should have take you both with me. I let Ozai scarred you. Twice. Agni Zuko, I-“

“This is not from father.”Zuko interrupted her. Ursa heads snaps and she looks at Zuko’ face. Zuko smiled sadly, “This is from Azula, mother.”

“Oh.”

Ursa drops Zuko’ hand. Her arms went limp and her face went slack. Her daughter, her beautiful daughter, who looks so much like her, hurts her own brother. Burn her own brother. Dear Agni, Ozai really tainted her angel.

“Mother?” Zuko reached for her hand again. Even trying to sit back up while Katara is fussing, “Zuko no, not yet.”

Ursa quickly took Zuko’ hand, clutched it with both of her hands, kissed the knuckles softly, “Im here love. Always here.”

So Zuko relaxed, smiled a little and eventually drifted off to sleep with his mother still clutching his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i am back with my bullshit!! hope you all have a great day <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You healed him. Thank you for that.”
> 
> “Im the one who caused this.”
> 
> “Darling, I’ve been away for so long but I do remember my daughter dont have blue eyes.”Ursa chuckled.

Katara cant apply the bandage again because Zuko is asleep. She doesnt have the heart to wake him up. She never sees Zuko sleeps this sound. And so she slowly retract her self from the bed.

“Thank you.”she heard Zuko’ mom voice. Zuko’ mom still clutches one of Zuko’ hand with her both hands.

“Im the one who should thank him.”Katara answers easily. She takes another look at the wound on his chest. It might takes weeks until it healed properly.

“You healed him. Thank you for that.”Ursa said again. She eventually releases Zuko’ hand and walks towards Katara.

“Im the one who caused this.”

“Darling, I’ve been away for so long but I do remember my daughter dont have blue eyes.”she chuckled.

Katara just cant take it anymore. “He jumped in front of lightning to protect me from Azula’ lightning.” Katara said this as she stared at the floor. Guilt starts eating her mind.

Ursa was shocked. Her son really blossoms into a brave young man who put his own life to protect his friends. Also lightning? Azula struck Zuko with lightning? 

So Ursa smiled sadly, “Sounds like something that my son would do. He’d jump in front of lightning for everyone he loves. Not your fault. Never your fault.”

Katara feels her eyes started to water. Zuko’ words on her mom sounds painfully honest. “I- It was my fault. He wouldnt be hurt like this. He shouldnt be.”

“Im so proud of you two. You, my son, and the rest of your friends are hero who protected the whole world and end a century long war. Along the way you got hurt and thats okay, Katara, its okay. Its okay. Zuko never blames you and you shouldnt to.”

“He should blame me, I- you dont know what happened afterwards. He stopped breathing! His lungs was burnt and it was really close to his heart! He was going to die, he was going to die! Because of me!”Katara said in hushed tones, she wants to scream, she really wants to shout but Zuko would be awake.

Ursa stopped in her tracks. His son almost died. His son was hurt. So so hurt.

“I blame myself too, Katara. I blame myself for leaving him, leaving Azula, alone with Ozai. I blame myself for this too, Azula is my daughter and I let Ozai tainted her up to the point that she tried to kill her own brother. Im at faults too, darling. We both just have to be there for Zuko as a repay. Maybe along the way we could forgive ourselves.” 

There was no reaction. Katara just stared at her. And then she ran towards her then hugged Ursa. Clutching desperately at Ursa and crying. Ursa held her tight, she realized that Katara too is a child. A powerful one, nonetheless still a child. Ursa slowly stroked her hair. Katara cries is quite, Ursa knew she tried to be quiet for the sake of Zuko.

“Its okay darling. Zuko is alive. Thats what matter.”Ursa whispers.

“Your daughter is alive too.”Katara whispers back. Ursa hand’ stopped stroking the hair. “She is?”Ursa asked.

Somehow her heart grows twice bigger. Her son would never kill his own little sister. Even after the said little sister tried to struck a lightning to his heart.

“Of course. I- she needs help though.”Katara said, finally pulling back from the hug.

“Is she hurt?”

“In a way, yes.”Katara seems uneasy to answer. Is it her place to talk about Zuko’ sister to Zuko’ mom?

Ursa sensed the discomfort on Katara’ big blue eyes. Her eyes looks around nervously, she knew that Katara is a good friend. So she smiled, “Then she’ll get better cause my children are strong.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> katara is deadass my favorite character and I want katara to fight me!!! step on my throat!!! (but no i dont ship zutara but if u do then cool!!!)


End file.
